I haven't posted in a couple weeks like I said I would. The truth is, lately, I don't really feel like posting. It's not that I don't love everyone who reads my blog (hi, Mom!) but I feel like this blog can take over my life if I let it. I normally don't get dressed in "real" clothes. If I'm not in my uniform, I'm in the kitchen making dinner in some pj pants. When I was trying to blog all the time, I would get dressed just to take pictures some days. That's not who I am. I don't want to always be wondering if my outfit is blog worthy and if I look fat in the pictures I take. I want to dress for me - not what I think people want to see.
On Sunday, our pastor spoke on Materialism*. I have realized that reading so many fashion and daily outfit blogs has exponentially made me more materialistic. Pinterest doesn't help either. "Oh! I love that outfit. I need shoes like that!" "Ohmygosh, Matt. I have to have this! Look how good she looks in it!" I don't want that to be me. Yes, I love clothes, accessories, shoes, etc. But I don't want to always be looking forward to my next "me" purchase. I want to focus on "us" purchases... a house, furniture, etc.. If I keep focusing on "me" purchases, it's going to take us a lot longer for us to reach our life goals.
I'm a narcissist. Half the reason I began blogging is so people could see how cute I could look. Continuing with the blog only feeds that. The time I spent blogging and having Matt take pictures of me could have been spent doing something useful or more worthwhile - especially if it helps someone else out. Focusing on helping other people is something I need to strive for, at the end of my life I hope I value my time doing that much more than the time I spent editing my pictures to make people think I was pretty.**
Maybe I'll come back to the blog sooner or later... maybe at some point it will turn into a "life" blog. Perhaps while we put together our first house, or how I deal with having a child and the many mistakes I'm sure I will make, awesome recipes I make up (ha), find or fail at, etc.. But right now, I'm enjoying the new-found enjoyment of cooking dinner and hanging out with Matt on the couch with the laptop not on my lap.
It's been a good run, but for right now, I'm out of breath.
I love all... 3(?) of you who read my blog. Let's see each other in person to know what I'm wearing and what's up instead of this blog. Except you, mom. I can't see you everyday... but we can talk on the phone! Or you could all move out here... that would work too.
*This particular sermon is not up yet, but it will be soon, I'm sure.
**I am strictly speaking for myself here. I'm not accusing any other bloggers of the same thing or condemning them for being a blogger. For me, at this point in my life I'm doing what's best for me. Please don't take it the wrong way.
